Up the Creek without a Paddle

The Klaxons were being interviewed at Glasters today. Every single one of them was wearing Wayfarers.

Still wish I was there, though.

Was walking through London Bridge station lastnight, a bit the worse for wear. A charming young man standing by the door shouting 'alright sexy, want to give me a blow job?' as I passed.
My response wasn't elegant. It went along the lines of 'you bastard. Who do you think you are? Do you know how it feels to be intimidated like that? I hate you! You bastard!'
I've spent the whole of today running over all the responses that would have been better than that in my situation. For posterity, I'm posting them:

1. Yeah. That's how I'd love to spend my monday evening.
2. Ok. Whip it out.
3. I'd love to, but if I tried, I don't think I'd be able to find it, so I think I'll save us both the embarrassment and decline.

More to come.